Hey. Let me know if any of this resonates.
You are a strong lady, who has the abilities to heal. You get self-conscious to the point of worrying sometimes or have done in the past, when you were younger. Your younger self was more of a puzzle, even now there are parts of your life that you have not yet discovered about you. Which is a mystery for you to unravel.
You have a memory connected to a fish pond where you used to go to to watch the ducks and koi carp, too. you used to take your offspring there. you have children, one is young and at home, one is in education and at school - 2-3 years old. you are drawn to san fransciso as place and have not worked out why you are drawn to go there, this is a past life connection and is where the empathy & healing also come into it as you are learning to develop your own gift and ability within ferreting out the answers and guidance you seek on your path forwards.
you also know that with your gift comes a lot of self-work, and care, nourishment and lifestyle changes which you are changing and are in the moment of decision with them. you also have owl totem around you helping you guide yourself forwards into the known territories too.
you have looked at counseling to guide and heal yourself further, when you heal yourself first that's when you can start to help and heal others. you've got a bit of self-work and reflection to do though. i also sense there is someone who is a nurse around you who is looking after someone who is older than you where you've been put into the position of a carers role. you need to keep trusting in your own instinct with this. you are developing your empathy and are learning along the way, a lot of fears to face in this unknown time of changes but go with the flow on your horizons, accept and embrace the changes are they are good changes being made.