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Becoming a victim of one’s own thoughts. The nature of victimization & how to resolve this issue permanently.

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Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Oct 09, 2019 3:59 pm

Tue Oct 15, 2019 5:13 pm

Welcome to all:

Many have asked me about this issue.

Therefore, I am offering this question to all members here and invite everyone to offer their insights and questions regarding this issue of victimhood and resolve.

Thank you for your kind input.

In Gratitude, Wandering Soul

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Posts: 10
Joined: Tue May 07, 2019 9:26 pm

Thu Nov 21, 2019 8:20 pm

Through a lot of counseling and therapy as well as meditation and healing, I have come to the conclusion that no one can make you a victim. It seems somewhat blunt and callous to say it that way, so I will try to explain further. In my own example, I was raped as a very young child by a family member. That would, technically, make me a victim. Indeed, I still often feel like a victim. But I have resolved to move past it day by day. I do not want to think of myself as a victim of rape, even though it happened. I want to define myself as a valuable, worthy, and worthwhile person despite what happened to me. I want to be more than a rape victim. I want to be a whole person, a loving, lovable person.

If all my thoughts revolved around the fact that I was raped and thus unworthy and defiled, that would be letting the rapist 'win', despite the fact that he is already dead and buried. I would be carrying around that fact like a Scarlet Letter or some other brand. I would be beating myself up for something that was done to me beyond my control. I would be constantly abusing myself despite the fact that my abuser was no longer abusing me. This self-abuse would be even worse than what he had initially done to me because it would be a daily eroding of my self-esteem and self-worth.

So instead of doing negative self-talk every day, for example, saying 'I am ugly', or 'I am so stupid, why did I do that', or 'I can't do anything right', and repeating those things inside my head, I want to replace it with positive self-talk, or at least neutral, like 'Everyone makes mistakes', and 'I am a valuable person'. I want to affirm myself instead of tearing myself down. I want to build myself up.

That is what I think of as resolve.

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