So there was a party, and as i stood back and watched everyone act one way or another, i thought to myself, you know ec_amnesia you got to let all this go, these people, the world and everything in it to God.

So then I have a boyfriend and was thinking, from a sermon that taught that choose who you will worship today, who you will serve today. I thought who never let me down, who always was there when I needed them, then my boyfriend fell in that category, who felt hurt when I did, my boyfriend too cries when I cry. So then I was like who out of all the instances in my life that I partook in never judged me, told me to change , or try to make me feel at ease then it hit me, God never judged me, never wanted me to change unless it was for the better or for me to learn a lesson, only for the betterment in being a better person. Then I was all thinking how sad it would to be to leave. To leave everyone behind, and just take it up with God, live my life with him.

So now I`m torn at a cross roads, and someone told me not even to go to this website anymore, because it is ""sorcery"" but I met a lot of God loving people on here, and thought when it comes to bias opinions it is hard to find it here, because know one here knows who you are. So now is how to get closer to God is not be luke warm, to live out his commands after the covenant, to love yourself happens naturally so it could be that loving your neighbor as yourself makes sense, so thats where I need work in. Loving others as God loves me, He loves me how I am now, and knows where I need to be, and the people who are not good for me, He wants me to get them away, to keep me safe.

So this might take a while, but easing someone into a break up or letting go of the bad influences in your life might not take place over  night, but on the contrary, I would rather be on the white horse when the battle starts, than loving a mere mortal, against God, that just doesnt sooth my soul. Thats all God should be first and fore most in my life and once again, I feel as if the jealousy could stall my life.

Has this happened to anyone ever before, how youre striving to get closer to God only inaudible places, things, events, get in the way of that transformation. All I know is nothing when it goes for what to do, so I turn to God, and realize that He is like I was, looking at the first true love of my life, realizing he dont want me, thats heart breaking, and to have that happening to Jesus and how He lived and died for you, to make sure that your sin is gone and purified through His pure lived life, makes me understand how that rejection get you in the end. Only for that patience to withstand and I keep going back to Him.

I want to make it out of this one I want to make it closer to God. Thats all.

Happily ever after is a state of mind. If you chose to be happy and do not allow life's bad points to break you down you will always be happy. If you chose to allow the bad to over ride your life then well life will suck for you. Life is what you make of it.