I know what you mean I don't know how old you are but I am 23 and I find this in many areas of my life from helping people, to finding a home. I am a manager at my job and sometimes it is hard to get the older people to do what the rules say they need to do because I tell them the rules, but the older managers tell them, its no big deal even though I earned my posistion. *Sigh* I know what you mean. I don't pretend to know everything but I am not useless lol.

Hi there,

There's also something to do with people lacking the skill of being "assertive"... It's hard to explain but I'll try...

Between what you think, what you want to say, what you actually say, what the others hear, how they understand the message, and how they react.... there is a huge gap...

Plus, let's say you say something to someone. The person doesn't agree with you. They will let you know that they don't agree, but perhaps they don't say it the way it should be in order for you to understand what they want to say (sorry it gets tricky)

They perhaps will go, "you're totally wrong, I know that blabla.... "
Or they will say : " I can ensure you that this is utter ***, the truth is..."

This is basically the antipodes of assertiveness...
There are a few principles about assertiveness :

- you have the right to disagree. People have the right to disagree too.

- if they disagree and say you are wrong, don't take it personally. They just don't know or understand or express the fact that you could be right...

- Thinking differently than the "mass" doesn't make you an outsider. It's not about how many people agree or not.

- Before discarding someone's opinion, it's always good to first acknowledge that one understands what's being said at first : "I understand your point and I appreciate that you raise this argument, however, I also think that..... " << makes it much easier and much more constructive in a conversation.

If you feel aggressed, or disrespected, or if you feel that you're not being taken seriously, please don't focus only on the message, but also the way the person is expressing it. It doesn't mean being stubborn ! But being a good communicator always helps better debates/conversations, and keep people at peace, keep bad feelings at bay

They might be right too, but if they don't express that they hear you first (before giving their opinion) then, you know that it doesn't come from you...

I hope it all makes sense and that it will help you feel better.

Have a good day